drama and flamewars

Wow. I’m glad I’ve been away from SLU for most of the week, seems that it all erupted in drama and bannings, and of course had I been here I would not have been able to keep my neb out. My response though, is here and not in the forums because OMG more drama, and I don’t really want to re-waken threads that ought to be quietly euthanased.

Now I’ve been a member of forums and other net communities for over 10 years and in all that time I’ve always been polite and friendly on joining, I take time to get to know the place before I post, and I do not immediately jump into flamewars and start insulting people. In all these years I’ve seen people join forums, and immediately start acting like an asshole, and then they wonder why they get treated like one.

These people who wonder why they get involved in so many flamewars, why they believe that nobody likes them, why they think they’re being persecuted all the time, I wonder how many times they look at their own attitudes. The answers are there.

Having been a member of several trauma-survivor communities, including one with a pretty tough reputation that I’ve been a member of for over 6 years now, the “OMG I’ve had a life of trauma” card is one that just makes me laugh. I’ve seen it so many times. And you know what? It does not excuse being an asshole. There are plenty of other people who’ve also had a life of trauma who are NOT assholes.

The other one that makes me laugh is the “I’m a newbie so everyone hates me I’m not in the clique”. To that I’ll just… well, first I’ll spend ten minutes LOLing, but when I’m recovered I’ll point to the first few posts I made on SLU. Yes I whined, but the reaction I got was 100% supportive and positive. Why? Because I’d been NICE. I see exactly the same thing on that other forum – some people join and immediately act like assholes, and are surprised when they get treated appropriately. Other people join and are respectful, and they are treated appropriately too. Its a simple equation.

Join a forum with guns blazing, the insults and defensive attitude on full-blast and saying “I’m not nice, deal with it,” makes you 100% responsible for the way you’re treated by others.

How like that other forum, SLU is. And how un-coincidental that they’re my two favourite internet communities ever.

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2 comments on “drama and flamewars

  1. I do have to agree with you, Lewis- I was suprised also that for some the idea of internet rage is just some kind of passtime or game to them, these are people who wouldn’t dare say the same things they say to people to their faces, and yet they as a group ar totally cowardly when it comes to taking some kind of stance IRL.

    I think that sometimes people missidentify me and my goals because I get caught up in some of the accusations that always seem to surface. The bottom line is, I am probably like a small group of people who are out there on the internet who are the same IRL as in Virtual, in the respect to how I communicate or try to communicate with people.

    For me I realize that I am impulsive, and can get my buttons pushed (not so easily however the do still get pushed)… and the main compelling thing about the flaming that people do, is like a train wreck there are certain people who always will be found lurking to see what the next move is.

    Funny thing is I took off from reading bloggs the last weeks due to such a full holiday and pre holiday schedual, and when I came back, I thought everything was going to be quiet, then there were all these issues being brought up on bloggs and forums which lead straight back to Prok, and her/his (I don’t seriously know) situation…and all of this erupts now, even though the bloggs she/he trolled had these posts back in september. Or even one which was exactly one year ago…

    I wish I had read back farther in Vint’s blogg then I would have got the word about Prokofy and the behavious which follow concerning the trolling.

    I think some of the behaviours can be affilated with a sudden impulsive need for attention…

    I just joined SLU, and thought it was kind of cute, but I need to spend my time making stuff in SL really.. it was really a welcoming place it seems, it had some good vibes but then it has the whole “social wall”.. the area of all this interaction I am not totally willing to get involved with, but always seem to get dragged into… 🙂

    I think I bought one of your houses a while back, I thought your name was familar on Prok’s comments. I guess as much as I think I forget, if I can connect a name to something I always remember those things..I don’t know why.

    I just wanted to say hello.

  2. To AlterEgoTrip – I gather that the whole thing with Prokofy isn’t at all new, apparently he/she was doing the same thing on Sims Online long before SL began. I’ve given up, not going to read that blog any more. I have better things to do with my time than waste it on trying to educate someone who has their eyes shut, fingers in ears and is humming really loud. You know?

    And you probably know me only from SLU (I tend to be quite outspoken there). I haven’t been doing the houses long, only a couple of weeks, and I’ve not sold any yet 🙂

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