Wow. I’m glad I’ve been away from SLU for most of the week, seems that it all erupted in drama and bannings, and of course had I been here I would not have been able to keep my neb out. My response though, is here and not in the forums because OMG more drama, and I don’t really want to re-waken threads that ought to be quietly euthanased.
Now I’ve been a member of forums and other net communities for over 10 years and in all that time I’ve always been polite and friendly on joining, I take time to get to know the place before I post, and I do not immediately jump into flamewars and start insulting people. In all these years I’ve seen people join forums, and immediately start acting like an asshole, and then they wonder why they get treated like one.
These people who wonder why they get involved in so many flamewars, why they believe that nobody likes them, why they think they’re being persecuted all the time, I wonder how many times they look at their own attitudes. The answers are there.
Having been a member of several trauma-survivor communities, including one with a pretty tough reputation that I’ve been a member of for over 6 years now, the “OMG I’ve had a life of trauma” card is one that just makes me laugh. I’ve seen it so many times. And you know what? It does not excuse being an asshole. There are plenty of other people who’ve also had a life of trauma who are NOT assholes.
The other one that makes me laugh is the “I’m a newbie so everyone hates me I’m not in the clique”. To that I’ll just… well, first I’ll spend ten minutes LOLing, but when I’m recovered I’ll point to the first few posts I made on SLU. Yes I whined, but the reaction I got was 100% supportive and positive. Why? Because I’d been NICE. I see exactly the same thing on that other forum – some people join and immediately act like assholes, and are surprised when they get treated appropriately. Other people join and are respectful, and they are treated appropriately too. Its a simple equation.
Join a forum with guns blazing, the insults and defensive attitude on full-blast and saying “I’m not nice, deal with it,” makes you 100% responsible for the way you’re treated by others.
How like that other forum, SLU is. And how un-coincidental that they’re my two favourite internet communities ever.